Siding my jeans over my hips and all the way off my legs, I tossed them into my hamper. I wouldn't need them since I would stay in for the night. Next, my now soaked panties are removed. I lift my hips to feel the soft fabric tug at my lip and then pull away from where they are stuck in between my thick labia... I spread my lips and finger myself, caressing, demanding, and eager to feel alive and carnally fulfilled.

Fingertips begin to delve into soft folds and slickness, I close my eyes and feel the thick juices cool my skin as I run a silvery trail of my juices over my skin... I remember one lover who would ignite into a hungry fire watching my face as he slid his coated finger from my pussy and over my body, up to swirl it around each nipple and then lathe at them with his tongue... stroking and teasing a nipple with his thumb while he suckled the other one. I moan in remembrance of how hot that would make both of us... my pussy gushes as my hand presses against my mound, and I imagine seeing eyes glittering with hunger... jaw clenching and flexing as he watches my reactions to his touch, his kisses and his tongue licking and lapping at my body, eager to taste my body my heat, my lust and to reach my aching, deep within. I'm addicted to the lust I stir up in the man I'm attracted to, wanting him, his body, his soul... and all of the heated lusty craving I can possibly discover and use, within him.

I arch again as fingers slide deeper, flicking, teasing rubbing my folds and ridges, my G-spot tortured exquisitely. My body flexes and trembles as I'm fondled and probed, tongue flicks in unison to desire and play... a man's face close, breath caressing across my sensitive flesh, and a mouth and hands claiming my body as his... licked and sucked until I can't tell how many tremors of orgasmic pleasure I've had.. I still need that touch, to create the absolute chaotic shattering of lusty fire that needs to be met before I am through.

Dreamlover licks and nibbles my lips and laps at the juices pooled inside of my slit.. traveling back and forth over my clit and then lifting my ass he licks farther towards the back... turning me deftly over, licking begins all over again, front to back, probing deeply in my dark little asshole and then into my pussy and up to nip my clit and flick it fast with tongue tip, sending me wild with hot pleasure... feeling a beard grazing my lips and skin.. moaning out low and begging to feel his thick member enter me... I need you.

so horny, and lonely for someone who WANTS me, and to be with ME, not just imagine the fulfillment of his fantasies...

closing my eyes and running my finger down my slit, over my jeans, laying across my bed... I look up, rise to my elbow and force the door to my room closed... I do not want to be disturbed or seen. This is MY time for pleasure, alone.

closing eyes again, sighing as my heart rate speeds up... imagining someone else's hand gliding over me, to tease my body into a heightened state of arousal. Imagining a low husky male voice his breath as he feels his own reaction to my response... knowing this is MY fantasy... and refusing to put a face or name to the man I'll imagine. My dreamlover will want me, need me more than he's needed or desired any other. Aches to touch me and is overwhelmed with desire for me... his touch is sure. He knows my desires, and how to pleasure me...

finger trails over the zipper and up to unbutton and unzip my jeans... fingertip follows the dip of my slit, pressing against my clit and making it harden and swollen. My back arches to keep that finger near, and to feel it press firmly deeply.. feeling my juices flow...

I'm sure you've noticed my fingernails, painted in multicolors... I just wish you could see all of the details... ahhh, well

the PINK was once a horribly bright hot Barbie Pink, now, a more subdued hue, with fine sparkly glittery gloss washed over it.

The BLUE is TARDIS blue, with strands of mylar in teal/gold/blue and red threaded through, like blue fire opals. Layered with several coats of clear topcoat to seal and thicken it to a high gloss... stunning.

The BURGUNDY is metallic and beautiful. I was supposed to add a thread of golden cream through it, but couldn't find a way that felt "Right" to me, so left it simple.

PINK for BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH...
so many women who're survivors or have lost their lives to it... My Angel-Mom(step-mom) is one of the survivors of whom I'm proud and grateful to have in my life.

DARK BLUE for Colon Cancer.
My mother passed away at the young age of 68 in late October 2011 of a fast metastasizing version of it. My cousin 9 years younger than myself followed her with the exact same strain of it, to the grave in January of 2012, about 2 1/2 months later. I miss him. I helped to raise him and taught him to respect life and nature. I was proud of him. His was initially found in his esophagus, and when I was having larynx issues, his mother had melted with fear of adding someone else to the list.

BURGUNDY and CREAM are the colors for HEAD and NECK cancer

That form of cancer isn't supposed to ravage a body or kill... it did. It took my Alex away from me... It was supposed to be treatable with surgery, and either or both radiation and chemo therapy. The therapies destroyed what the cancer didn't... and worse, with each MRI or CT scan while in therapy they found more lesions and tumors throughout his body.. Spreading like wildfire... stripping him of health and life... but since his doctors insisted he'd survive with therapy he continued to do what they encouraged, all while I and his family watched and knew he couldn't survive.

Mother taught me to hug as I do.. sharing my positive energy and love with others... each hug is an act of love and joy. A gift from me to each recipient. A part of me is within each hug, just as a piece of my love is in each work of art I create. She was dual personalitied, but.. the sweet side of her... she taught us, her daughters, HOW to LOVE.

My fiance taught me how utterly he loved me.. How completely he cared for me and the young woman that he claimed as "our" daughter. He loved me so much that he did everything he could to live. He taught me everything he saw that was beautiful and perfect about me... and, he taught me that I'm worthy of love. He taught me.. that I WAS LOVED... and, allowed me to unleash my love on him.. no holding back. The ultimate gift.

This month is painful for me... but again, it is HIS.. he died 10 days before his 47th birthday. We were supposed to celebrate it here, in Utah together and with my family.

Today I wore my grandmother's wedding ring again.. turning it on my finger... recalling how I'd placed it on my wedding finger after we shared whispered vows in silent token of our love eternal, while he was still alert and capable of motion. I will forever love and cherish that man...

Three cancers I will fight against for the rest of my life.

This month is my declaration of life and love, and devotion.

today is the 1 year anniversary of the day I'd gotten the call from Alex's sister.. saying he'd requested that at any cost, I get myself over there... NOW.

I'd taken the day off due to illness, and was looking over a contract for the purchase of a car... Lanky and my daughter were there with me... and my phone rang. I know she never called without reason and, that my sweetheart could no longer speak.

I left the building, my heart torn and tears and a moaned plea escaped my lips...
"no, not without me..."
I flew out the next day my body in distress over this not just my heart and soul. I remember the struggle just to walk the several blocks to Rush's hospice unit... and then the surge of joy and energy as I walked into his room and climbed onto his bed to kiss him and touch his face..
God, how I love him... oh how hard this time of year is for me

sleepy, and I just don't know if there's a kisser out there, who'd fit my expectations/needs. I just got another kiss from a guy who was hoping. Cold kisses and ones when I'm not ready are uncomfortable. I MISS kisses so much, I miss passionate and romantic responses and experiences... but I'm not sure I can believe that I'll fit with anyone. I'm too broken and too scared of another disaster or creep.

Honestly... I'm not sure what to think or hope, or what I want... no, maybe I do... I want to know beyond any doubt that a man I personally am attracted to is attracted to me, wants me, loves and appreciates me as I am.... and doesn't want to be without me in his life. Is that too much to ask or hope for?


*sigh* attraction is mandatory

soo is a working tongue that he'd use to lathe my pussy, slit from front to allllll the way back and forth...

he's got to have something working up there (konks head to prove it's not hollow)

we've got to find more and more and more that excites and stimulates our senses and interest, curiosity and desire to know the other to the point where we've got to delve further and further, just to see how far back in there that interest goes.. if it seems endless... whew, I think we've hit on something.
Umm, I'd really, really prefer no current warrants, or criminal records, no sexual assault or predator registry.
Let's face it... anyone who's got some of these issues will have a very limited opportunity to work, get poor pay and abuse for his record. and... *sigh* I just seem to notice that there's a lot of that on the internet social sites and I kinda wonder what my chances are in finding a good man who'll want care for, love and absolutely need and crave me as his partner. ME... shaking head.

I'd also hope since Im a horny girl that his manly bit works well within my girly bits and, that he can't get enough of me, because.. I'm me.

Am I asking too much?

I kept waking up gagging and drowning in blood... I'm so tired.
my nose bleed has slowed down a little better, since 5:30am... but I'm sick to my stomach from swallowing so much blood. This has been going on since around 8:30pm yesterday.
sorry, I know this is gross.. but it's NOT normal to have it happen as ever as it is.

I'm kinda freaking out over this. I'm taking iron, I'm sleeping better, but I've had to deal with nose bleeds every day for a week, and now this? I'm NOT making this bigger than it needs to be, this is scaring me to bits.

another wonderful album by this band... love the bass, the primal drums and orchestration...

Smiles... and something about Jared Leto makes me lusty over their music

tired of nose bleeds
the splatter patterns are actually becoming predictable...
no longer quite so hypnotically mesmerizing...

tired of feeling weak and lacking energy.
the only good thing is that I'm sleeping heavier at night... getting more rest? I hope.

tired of confusion, of promising myself that I'll say no... then saying sure or yes, to two people who seem to have me twisted around them.

Sigh... just tired.

still, I can say that there's less drama in my life right now. I'm going to make it through somehow.

I've made some new friends at work and on the web

and looking forward to spending time with some hopefully soon. Reconnecting, and making new connections, too.
All good.

need to finish my fingernail polish... almost done with the colon and head&neck. then, I'll post nudie pix of me showing them off.
Is that okay with you?

there are times when a girl just gets too dang juicy and can't take it... undies should NOT be filled with cum just because I'm uberly horny...

'nough said...

I'll be working overtime for a while.. and trying to get thigns done around here... home, and NN

lemme see... any suggested poses and subjects for photos for this curvy lil' woman?