I'm paying tribute to NN men in a random round about way. This sweet and gentle man of strength isn't one of the first I became good friends with here... But later, when I'd rejoined this place, and I suspect it was when I'd first cammed on here when camming was a new feature to NN... or, maybe he can recall and add how we'd met. Anyway... I love this man dearly. He's gentle, calm and very humble. He and I took things outside NN to share our mutual love of nature photography. We talked of lenses and cameras, filters and lighting.. share our favorite self taken photos and pointed out to one another the ones we loved. I told him he's got a natural eye for it.. and what an eye for nature that lovely man has!!!

Whokens is one of the dear men whom I've loved dearly, and had the distinct joy of talking with and mmm, loving that Scottish accent and had tease me about mine. Thank you Whokens, for caring, sharing and giving of yourself to this place. Many of us laud and love you, sweetheart... And I have the distinct honour of being your friend.

Now, if you haven't seen his simple and elegant blogging.. please check out this dear heart... This eloquently humble good natured soul.

[url]http://prem.newbienudes.com/blog/whokens/?fp=y[/url]

Love you my wonderful friend!!!

I keep thinking of my sweetheart. The man who's grown to have such an amazing and positive affect upon me. He knows that I long to be his wife as much as he wants to be my husband. Smiles.. of course we'd planned on me moving there by the end of this year. to live with him. He's never lived with a woman with the intent of living with her forever. So it might take a month or two or so for him to learn what it's like to have someone to work with, live with and focus on him as well as herself
Unfortunately, I just don't see that happening any time soon. Too much is needed here. Too much owed now, there, for his medical costs, and now loss of work will mean loss of insurance.. something he must not be without, if he's to survive. Life is fleeting. Life is a gift we don't appreciate until we've witnesses how tenuous and frail human life truly is. So, I work, and pray and keep cheering my sexy invalid on. I love this man... and I treasure his ability to love absolutely. I'm only able to take this distance between us, because I have no other thing to do but to trust that what he and his sister tell me is true. That he should be able to make it. That this won't kill him.

there are some wonderful men in this world... and I get to claim some of them as good friends.. darling men.. AND, they're RIGHT HERE!
So, starting this week, I'm going to put a link to some wonderful friend's blog, right here within mine.. and say a few things about them as the men I've gotten to love, who're worthy of honoring and of love.

So, watch out, TJ, beware ponyman, lemme snuggle a ThicknHard1forU, and who cares about you, whokens? I do and so many of us do each one of many men who inspire, tease, hug and hold us in high regard... and there are more... oh boy, oh joy!

BTW, anyone who wishes to share or have me post about someone, so as to not forget these wonderful men of NN... please message me or simply share on this entry... let the raising on pedestals begin!!! To the Olympian heros of NN!

Woooo Hooo!!! The race was a great experience for me.. and, Tall and Lanky took pix with the new phone for me.. still trying to figure it out.. AND I was surrounded by rude rich bitches.. *Sigh* height and voice impaired me.. Hee hee, got to get a bird's eye view.. ok, some pixs from very high up.. due to being friends with a guy as tall as a light post. *Cheeky grin*

Like the 4th stage, we both took home pockets full of loot. And again, I got to beam as I watched this tall friend of mine being hugs and asked when he's coming back to the world of bicycle racing.. officiating and encouraged him with feedback from past experiences they'd had, working with him. Hugs, kisses and tears were shed by this man and other men who been there when he'd had his terrible accident. And those who've been by his side since then. How I wish he knew how he can affect people positively. But then, that is a lesson we all must learn. And to get the best effect from it, we also must embrace and accept, and the move forward, carrying that knowledge and acceptance of self.. PROUDLY, smiling and feeling the joy it can bring us. My friend and I talked about our lives, choices made and about our friendship. The fact that we both care about one another when we've each hurt or been hurt by the other.. and yet, we enjoy our time together. He also asked how Alex deals with our outings.. there weer times when he'd coughed or did things that he could tell had halted my sweetheart's conversations... as if refraining from asking who was with me. I reminded him the my love trusts me, and knows that I won't leave him for someone like him. I admitted that there has been a lessening of our conversation.. an increase in silence and hang ups.. and there are times when there is just too much frustration to take in the calls. We're seeing one another at our worst. I didn't elaborate. He doesn't need to know the strain on both of us, the frustration at being so far apart.. my lanky friend knows that to a degree from his own torrid long distance love affair.

My darling man called while we were on our way to Park City, and my buddy charged his phone while we had the longest most in depth conversation we've had for weeks. Part of it was due to my friend having been concerned over mentioning how my sweet Alex is starving and incapable of eating far too often.. He'd pointed out the baby food aisle while we were grabbing last minute stuff for the trip up to the last stage of the Tour of Utah... showing me the pouches like the astronauts use, squeezable easy foods to drink and swallow. My friend cares about me and my relationship with a man who's earned my respect love and trust... things he didn't think mattered to him when we were playing.. yet, things he envies and wants to stay intact for me and my happiness.

I loved being able to talk so plainly with my sweetheart... it was wonderful getting to hear, through his struggles his thoughts, desires and feelings. I love that man so deeply.

And yet, there are times I ponder my thoughts and feelings.. I wonder why I'm not utterly destroyed by his plight. Why I'm not falling to pieces. Then I recall times when I do. Oh, I do that far too often. But I MUST be strong. Steel nerves and all smiles and cheer. Because I KNOW the power of positive and how prayer, reiki, positive thoughts all work. All one and the same. And I will NOT allow my soul to sorrow overmuch, because I'm determined to disallow such negativity to feed off of me, thus negating all the forward motions that will be happening for him. I will not be holding him back.

Good morning from sunny dry and hot Utah...
another day in the mid to high 90's here.. and the final stage of the Tour of Utah. I wonder if Tall and Lanky would be interested in an overstuffed little buddy(ME) straggling back behind him up in Park City? Or if he's taking his room mate... a woman who's been enjoying his time and attention a lot lately. I hope he doesn't screw up his living relations with adding sexual play and emotional feasting on her, too. He seem to still have no clue how he botches things up, just says that women figure him out and leave him behind soon. *shakes head in disappointment* He really IS an idiot when it comes to how he manipulates and plays emotional/head games with us women. He starts off fabulously. But he hasn't seemed capable of figuring out the rest of the game.
**** Thing is.. Life and love... they AREN'T a GAME. But they CAN be and ADVENTURE if you're fortunate enough to find each other not only compatible but the time spent together, both positive and exciting.

Anyway, this morning I'm trying to get my new phone activated and set up in my account. I NEED it, since my gifted phone's sustained far too many accidents. It's dying. There are far too many times it doesn't notify me of calls now. The female jack for my headset can't register my's male piece in there, the battery dies too quickly... and my sweetheart can't hear me well enough to make the calls worthwhile. FRUSTRATION with a phone number attached to it!!! I've loved it while I've had it. But I've GOT to get this account transferred over to the NEW one ASAP. It even came with it's own headset. Not the expensive ones I've got. But they look like they might do the job. My voice is low and breathy. And very, very soft... SULTRY. One of my coworkers informed me after I'd commented on men mentioning that my voice was sexy... that mine was something-whiskey. I forgot what he'd called it, but that it meant my voice was rich low and sultry... Like it as perfect for a blues or jazz singer. Guess he's right. I used to sing... usually for free, but after the damage to my larynx, it's much harder to hit the higher sets of notes... or to throw my voice out strongly like I once accomplished regularly. Anyway, back to my voice and phone calls... it's ironic that I've chosen call center work the past few years... I'm very quiet, and only have so much room for volume, before my voice will crack and cease all together. So.. my love, when my lips aren't right there at the speaker, just can't hear well enough to understand what I'm saying. It's very frustrating. So... I NEED a phone with a sensitive mic, and the adaption for a headset.

Wish me luck? Cross your fingers for me, if you please? Because I'm stumbling in futility to get this thing registered and activated. *sigh* and.. my voice is in very bad shape today, already.

Yesterday was a lazy day... I'd overdone myself on Friday evening, walking miles with my buddy, at his long-gaited pace... But I enjoyed our time together as usual. The only time when our outings get to me, is when people presume we are a couple, often encouraging me to take good care of him... again, as if we're more than friends.

Watching the race was exciting. I loved coming home with loot from vendors at the stands surrounding the finishing line. From 5 hour Energy, I got a cool set of earbuds, and a lanyard. I won bicycle tools and got other cool stuff as well. And I enjoyed getting to meet more of the racing officials and vendors with whom this charismatic and friendly man has a positive working past... people he speaks fondly and highly of.

Late that night my sweetheart called for mere minutes. His breath and words halting and short.

Saturday my sweetheart called me early for a brief time.. simply to hear the woman he loves... Informing me he still loves my sexy voice and the way his name sounds, coming from my lips. I dozed off and on, until I finally awoke enough by 4:30pm to stay up and get a few things accomplished. My days and nights run into one another far too often these days. Conversations with the man that I love are quick and nearly empty, with him excusing himself to end the call quickly.

Oh, by the way.. Friday, I had two phone interviews for positions with companies closer to my home. Either one pays more, to start, than I make after two years of loyalty with this one. I have a group interview with one company on Monday morning. I'm not sure if or when I'd get one for the one that pays very generously. I need to leave the stress and negativity of this current company behind me... Tall and Lanky simply won't go back, even though he calls in sick every day. The stress and memories are just too much for him. And for me and many there.. we struggle, and we stay... with an ever increasing NEED to walk away.

Now it's almost 2am.. and I need sleep. But I thought I'd take a moment to catch my friends up on how my life is going. Still struggling, still in love with a man who may be dying, but has a purpose to his determination to fight and live... a marriage in the coming year, to a woman who's working to lighten her load and make it possible for me to make such a huge change in my life.
hugs, and sweet dreams I wish for you, and a bright and glorious day..

I love love LOVE the guitarist, Joe Satriani...

chose this song to share, today...
a great song for driving winding roads.. reminds me of road trips.. windows down hand out, "catching the wind"

feeling alone tonight.. and lonely. ultimately it is by choice, I suppose.

not sure why I feel so empty... sad and like something important is missing in the world, tonight.

I hate these hot tears spilling down my cheeks.

long days, and long nights.... *sigh*

no word from my guy since I'd bugged him while on my 1/2 lunch. And soon I'll be leaving with Tall and Lanky to enjoy the Tour of Utah's stage 4, from up near the capital. It's sprinkling outside, so I'll slip on some sneakers and grab my light weight jacket and be ready in no time.

LOVE bicycle races!!!

this is the set of pedals I'd won at the rand opening of the new bigger shop. it was so cool to get to meet Dave, the guy who owns DZNuts, bald, etc!!!



Anyway, I've got them posted on eB ay, high bid's still lower than valued.. $100.00. Crossing fingers, toes, knees and eyes they get a higher price.
and yes, they come with the collector box.. AND a set of cleats!





anyway, for those who love road races, tour de whatevers, triathalons, etc... drool over these carbon babies