is a spoken in hushed, sexy deep and descriptive words... a look around the eyes.. in the reverent caress of splayed fingertips trailing over satiny, then velvety skin... lingering lips savoring kisses... the lasting scent of lovemaking and wafting desire... eyes focused upon the face that I crave... cupped hands upon his face... oh how I look forward to our union again... only this time I'll devour him to recreate living memories, recall our words and moments, to treasure them even more. He says I've created such a need in him. He tells me of his love and joy... and soaks up every sigh and smile upon my words to picture my face as he loves it most.. joyously smiling, laughing.. loving, and his...

His voice is a gentle and comforting thing.. I can feel it sooth me as we speak. I miss him. I want him. I'm absolutely amazed at the peace, surety, love and devotion of this thing we have to treasure.. Love.

a rather LATE offering, and not quite up to myself... been anxious over my sweetheart's health issues, the denial letter for my daughter's Social Security disability, car troubles, yes, still... and then, my dear Tall and Lanky being told he's only got 2 weeks to get out of his rooms as his landlord is moving ASAP.... a bit too much. *sigh* And, ex is back to pestering our daughter for her company due to being dumped harshly by the woman again.

Umm, just a warning, the bird was playing swing on my scarf, so I'd messed up my timed take by getting her off and holding it to me.... she's a silly little mite of a clown, my Baby...




Baby hopped up to say hello




another one, she was dangling from my fingers, like they're ropes... life with a bird that loves to wrestle with me in her tiny way, fussing and nipping at fingernails as if they're my midget's friend's beaks... These green cheeked conures are silly clownish and have huge Birdie-tudes... absolutely delightful tiny friend if you don't mind them trying a suplex on your hand!




Belated, undoubtedly... but do check the others... and understand we seldom check with the others... there may be a few that are very similar in pose, thoughts, etc.... but that is life with a group who the topic of the challenges!!!

Please visit the other players:
12gaugefan, guitartxn, happyhumper69, bighoss2, MissOwl, Dreamingof_U, dziga, Northern Star, masterstoy91, youngguy91, RoxanneS, Viszla1, JediMasterBater, Aussie_Couple, redvs4u, Wrigley, VTCali, peachy keen, arabella_topaz, rockhard6isback, Army_brat_uk, opedius, privatedancer4u, Elle40, MrCoverYou, bettysswollocks, needs, cuffsandfeathers, bettysswollocks, comefuckmenow and nickey69

Easy access link
http://bitly.com/bundles/rockhard6isback/9

blog challenge tomorrow... things caught me.. family and friends and life in general.

Enjoy the fantastic efforts of our marvelous friends!!!

today I was awakened by daylight caressing my eyelids through my blinds... and slowly I allowed myself to view the scene through my window... this winter a few towering older trees blew down in a gale. Now my view includes the mill creek as it passes by this area. How I adore it in the evenings with light glittering in it's waves. Anyway, water is a needful thing for me... it is life and joy and energy. It is soothing, cleansing beauty as well. Not long after my musings started, my dearest man rang me and we got to converse about the weekend, our past weekend, a month ago almost... and how sweet it is to have experiences of being together to talk about, think about and cause our smiles to spread as warmly as they now do. My guy is absolutely mine, and I am his... we've been growing together in a peculiar fashion for what seems forever, or just a moment, at other times. But I'm loving it. He'd told me I've created a desire, no.. a NEED within him now.. to go to sleep with and wake up by my side forever. He uses that word to describe how long he wants to be with me... Forever. Not just until death, or until one of us throws a temper tantrum or hurts the other... but, forever.

I miss his arms around me, too. I love to hear his heavy breathing, even if it's on the telephone. I miss his hand grazing my hip in his sleep. his chin on my forehead or him nuzzling my throat to smell me. He's told me he loves my smell, and that I feel no need for makeup and perfume, that I'm a real and natural woman. He loves me as I am. He also let me know he'd still love me if I chose to wear make up once in a while, for him. *smiles* I know it smooths my freckles and rosacea and would perhaps add a hint of mystical to me as it used to do. Perhaps I will next time I'm with him... yes, I'll let him see me all gooped up for him ((winks and chuckles)).

His voice, when talking of his need for me, sounded so lonely, I told him my own version of my longing. I told him that I want to be there with him so much... but, for me, I'm recalling his touch, his breath gently caressing my skin, his lips tenderly exploring mine and the sweet calm peace in sleeping close to the man I want and love more than anyone I've ever known. I told him that I know he loves and wants to be with me. I apologized for building that need when we're so far away from one another. And I told him that I KNOW deep within me that I am his and he is mine. He tells me he wants me there, now, to finish completing him. He needs his better half. I need him, too. But, for me, he's the sunlight to warm and light my way. For me, he's everything I've ever dreamed of hoped for and believed a woman should and could have in her partner, her man. He likes that I claim him as mine. Oh, how I do!!! He's MINE... Every inch of his strong athletic body and every aspect of his gentle and brilliant mind and soul.

Because I know we're going to be together... even if soon means not this summer, or winter, but the next... I KNOW that we're bound together sweetly, with a pure, and lovely thing called Love.

Tonight my sweet daughter was brought home a bit earlier than I guess she and her boyfriend had planned. But when they had their arms wrapped around one another there was something very beautiful between them. I've known that man loves my daughter for months now, and that she loves him. Now they looked as if they'd spent some very special times together this weekend. Their embrace, the way he held her hands and looked into her eyes and she into his... reminded me of a couple at the alter, saying their vows... Oh, I'd be a proud mother to see that happen. My daughter and I talked after her sweet man had left her alone with me. She couldn't take that I'd wanted to talk of me marrying my man. All she could think of was losing me, her mother. The one constant in her own life. But then we got to talking of her man, of her weekend with him THIS weekend. He'd mentioned choices for her to make. She told me of the choices to work at the local Walmart, or go to phlebotomy school, or to go to classes, work part time for them in phlebotomy and work for the hospital systems locally for a year and thus pay off the cost of classes and certification. I told her I want her to be happy. She'd told me that same thing before she shared the rest. Stating that if it meant living with her father, it was far more important to her that I'm happy and with my man. She meant it, then posed something else. She said her boyfriend wouldn't let her live alone. And that he talked with her about going back to church. He'd spoken to her about the only options that would allow him to be rebaptised into the flock. To be celibate for a year prior... or to be married to his sweetheart. I hope they marry personally. I know they love each other. I know they both love our church. I know they're both good people who love God and love the idea of marriage, too. Anyway, I'm hoping that he proposes to her, soon. I honestly do. I love him and want him as my son. He's the best man she's dated and the most supportive and concerned for her. I've got a lot to hope and pray for. A great deal to turn over in my mind. And, I've got a future to look forward to. With love and good and positive within it.

It is hot tonight, there's no breeze for me and it's been very hot inside as well as outside It'll be over 100 tomorrow. I'll be wearing a light weight skirt and layered tops tomorrow, to work. I'll be sure to include a jacket or sweater to warm me, in that chilled building. I'd been speaking with the man I love for an hour or so, tonight. And then, texting back and forth with my friend, Tall and Lanky. Texts about foods we're preparing and how we're going to fill our days. We're not going to be in the same training class, as hoped but will be trained at the same time in the same building, I imagine. I'd have preferred being trained with him.. but I also know it's not a bad thing to be separated, too. After all, I'm planning on life in Illinois next year. And he may decide to take his parents seriously about their offer to have him move back home to help take care of them, and pay him something to manage his needs. I want the best for that man, and I think that would be a wise choice for him really. Back to me... I love my man in a way more deep than I've felt for any man who's asked me to be in his life, as his woman. I know he means it, and know that includes marriage and forever... as he says, if there's a heaven, he'd want to be there with me, forever.

My mind is filled with fuel to give me purpose and vision. For hope and life and dreams come true. I'd love to see my daughter married and I'm looking forward to being with my man.. for a lifetime and forever. For now, I'm preparing for the day ahead of me. For simplifying my life. For training for a new role with the company. For a life of hope and love and companionship for my daughter. And for me. And, who knows what else can and will be there to make all our desires come true, that are good for us. The universe makes things happen some how, some way when wanted enough and seemingly destined to be.

Sleepy hugs and snuggles I send your way. Good night and glorious new day I wish for you.

to make you think of mushy sappy people.. like me

to those who'd responded sweetly to my post of me and my sweetheart. just in case you thought he wasn't smiling.. he was trying a little. he had a stroke last year, that affected the right side of his face/head. He once had a huge and wonderful infectious smile, trust me, I've got photos he'd taken for me of it, when soft and gentle and brilliantly laugh filled. The man I love is a darling and strong man, in mind, bod and soul. I'm grateful for him and his influence on me and my life.

without his strngth and tenderness I wouldn't be as secure in who I am and what I have to look forward to in my future. He accepts and adores me, faults flaws and strengths... loves my foibles and quirks. He shows me his view of me as often as he can. Praises my
perfections and even my weaknesses. Honestly... if he hadn't shown and proved his love and absolute need/desire for me taking a committed role in his life... I'd planned on stepping away from sex, men, dating and any beief that a man could see me worth loving, let alone committing himself to. I've been taught too clearly that I'm not, by enough men to teach me it'd be foolish to hope any longer. I DO mean it. I've been too hurt by men, from my ex, to those who'd asked me to be their girlfriend, and those I'd simply gone to bed with, or dated. Until the man I've cherished as the only male friend I'd seen as having the connection I believed to be the perfect foundation for a marriage... I was sure I was doomed to only be wanted for a moment in bed, and nothing more. I'd heard men and women tell me I'm worth it, and the kind of woman any man would be happy to have as his.. that no man who'd been with me could help but love me... I just didn't find any of that to be true. Anyway, I'm still amazed at how well this man knows my heart and mind. How much he tempers me, and reminds me of how wonderful I am. And... he's the only one who's slept with me who wants me for his own. Then again, he'd wanted me to take that role before we even got to touch and hold one another in person... just as I knew I loved him months ago... he's now no longer afraid of losing me. No longer fears I wouldn't feel the same for him as he felt for me.

Today I helped Tall and Lanky fill the day, and not be all alone as he is, too much of his life. He told me how glad he is that my dear and I still talk often after the trip. I told him that we talk every day at least once... that not only do we talk, but my guy professes his love for me, and espouses my perfections, points out how he sees me and what he loves about me. I also told him of our conversation yesterday... and the one the night before... of how he trusts me with him, since he knows were good friends, who've learned from and supported one another. And that he trusts me in his care. Tall and Lanky told me that he was more impressed and in awe of that than I could ever be. And humbled by it, saying, he's a bigger man than me. I told him that this man who's in love with me trusts me. That he knows I love him more than I've loved any other man in my life. And, that Tall and Lanky has protected me from harm, helped me fed me and looked after me when I was down. I'm in love with a man who truly is bigger than that man I call a friend, from work... He KNOWS I love him, and he knows I believe he's worth my love and fidelity. He knows he's lucky... and he knows I deserve someone better than that man who was once very destructive and selfishly thoughtless with me when dating, and when being a friend. I know my tall gangly friend is envious of the man I love, and of the relationship he's got with me. Maybe having to watch a woman he's admitted he hoped he could have in that capacity in his life, might make him realize that how he treats women, lying, cheating hurting them incessantly is why he's all alone, and hurting. I'd love that he'd stop complaining about HIS broken heart and start thinking of all the breakage he's created in those of others. But that might be an impossible thing for someone like him.

Anyway, thank you for following this mooshy sappy woman who's never known what it is to be accepted let alone loved. I'd never been held in such tender regard by a man who's capable of being mine. I've never been told by someone that he doesn't want to lose me in his life, or that I'm the most important person or thing in his life. I've never been allowed to unleash my love upon anyone either, other than my now grown little girl... I've never know how sweet and glorious it is to embrace being IN love as well as being shown love in so many ways. Thank you for loving me through this, my friends... I've found more love and acceptance here, from people I may never meet and some I HAVE been blessed to meet, than in any other community I've lived in... or participated in... YES, really. Thank you, for loving me, and for one special lady, thank you for making a dream come true, thus helping me and this marvelous man recognize that our love has a right to be voiced, shown accepted and returned in full measure. we both knew... but had held our tongues and silenced our hearts for the sake of a friendship. I'm so happy that our friendship is not only intact, but even more perfect.

Love, hugglesnugs and snuggles hugs, kisses and joyful tears I'm sharing here, with you...
thank you

of me and my guy.



I'll be deleting it when I post for the blog challenge or sooner if needed

commitment...
tonight my man asked me if I really understood how important my role would be if I'm the most important thing and person in his life... he cited examples of things that he'd felt I'd been concerned about, women who'd threatened my existence in his life... he posed them as possibly causing me to feel I might not have a place in his life... he explained he'd already chosen a path towards me by the time a couple of women he'd loved showed up again. He admitted he loves them and has loved them... and then swept me figuratively off my feet by reminding me of the role I have for him in his heart, and in his life.

I don't mean to sound sappy.. I don't mean to sound egotistical or proud, either... but I do mean to express my absolute awe and how hugely this man, his actions, words and attention impact me. I've never felt loved like this. I've never had someone determine it's his job.. a lifetime one, at that.... to remind me of how he sees me and how he knows other people see me love me for who I am... how easy it is for men to be attracted to me, etc. I've never felt so loved, trusted, adored, valued and so completely sure that I MEAN something to a man, as I do with him. I know others who told and tell me. I know others who denied telling me of the things they loved about me... and I know I'm an abuse victim who ma not ever accept that I'm worthy of anything more than I'd had... except, I've believed the sweet men here, who proved me wrong, loved me innto a standing position and who seem happier than anything to see how THIS man has gotten me standing proud to be the woman he wants to complete him and fill his life with love. He wants this woman? I'm in awe.. I'm not gloating, I'm speaking in a hush. I'd given up hope and faith in this sort of good and dear relationship ever existing in MY own future. And now, I know.. it's here... (points to my heart belly and mind... it's in me, it's part of me and my life... and I'm eager, oh, so eager to be his wife... one day. I will be his wife. Wow... I get to be the ONE for someONE I adore. some one that I've grown to love until my heart gushes over... Why am I so blessed? I don't know... but I'm grateful that I GET to expereince this thing called love... and being IN love... what a novel, sweet and glorious thing. I am allowed and encouraged by this sweetheart, this gentle loving man, to tell him how I feel..... no matter how insignificant it might be, he wants to know. He is the first man I've trusted to tell him every bit of who I am.. and to tell him off for this or that, or tell him I need his time. Wow... no one has ever given that much power over them, and our relationship... I can't wait to find out more... more about how to accept being loved... that I'm exactly what he wants... I'm not sure why anyone could see all that in me, or want to give me such control and such power... but... he knows I'm a gentle soul. He knows I'll love him tenderly.. and how easily he could crush my soul with something thoughtless... he's witnessed that in my recent past. Oh, I'm not sure how to handle this... being cherished so tenderly... it's changing something deep inside of me... He praises and reminds me of how wonderful I am. to this one man I AM the embodiment of WONDERFUL. He fills me up sweeter than I've ever felt before, simply being himself. Simply by being the man who is in love with me and who's happy to take care of me... in part that includes helping me be happy. For in helping me, he too is happy. What a wise and caring man I have to cherish and give my heart and soul to. I am sappy... Should I be sorry? I hope not... just please, understand.. this is new to me. this is special. I have craved and needed to feel this way for decades... and now... I do.

last night I took a nap son after getting home, and went to bed early. Every day I get to talk with my sweetheart... I didn't used to count on calls daily, but somewhere, along the way we've grown to enjoy knowing the other's there, for and with us, even across the distance.. I do so adore my man.

Today he'd called as he got to his mother's place... and asked me to call him back as soon as I could. I was still working, but was delighted to find his message. Just meant he was thinking of me. I know how much I'm in his thoughts.. and the more he realizes I've never felt loved, or truly wanted by a man enough to feel I could believe any words of love... the more he feels a desire to fill my mind with his own words of loving devotion. I'm being filled up sweetly by him. Dreamily dozing off, I'll replay comforting support he extends to me, the chuckles he exudes as he expresses wonder that a woman my age can be so absolutely "adorable."

He keeps me smiling and feeling secure. I knew before my trip in truth... but after snuggling close and secure in his arms, feeling completely safe and wanted, I knew I'd want him all the more, surely. I definitely do... today I was wondering about "the fairy tale"... I tend to get cynical, clinical, and overanalyzing is something I'm known for. I wasn't raised on fairy tales for nothing.. Trust me, I was..... but in all honesty, my version of a fairy tale... most of my life, it was always the freaky psychopathic demonic Grimm's version. Those stories always made me think of terrifying minds filled with potential for huge damage to others around them. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is... I want this. I want the joy and completeness. I want to believe in him and in me, in us.

I want this. I miss him.

but the words... read them... they are so much like that which my guy says to me...

nods... yes, I'm a woman in moosh.