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clown,,flirt,,,chasing slow women,,they are easier to catch
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| Sunday, March 24, 2013, 10:09:50 PM- | ||||||
I was watching this movie and got a random thought How come when a woman is pregnant everyone rubs her belly and says congratulations But no one ever pats the fathers balls and says good job | ||||||
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| Sunday, March 24, 2013, 12:05:32 AM- | ||||||
You know its going to be a bab day When your imaginary friend files A restraining order on you | ||||||
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| Friday, March 22, 2013, 12:55:43 AM- | ||||||
wasnt planing on exercising=running today but the cops came out of nowhere | ||||||
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| Wednesday, March 20, 2013, 8:13:47 PM- | ||||||
3 out of 4 of the voices in my head want to go to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees? | ||||||
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| Monday, March 18, 2013, 6:06:44 AM- | ||||||
A crusty old biker, with bugs in his teeth, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $40.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers. 'Yes?' she inquires with a knowing smile, 'can I help you? 'I was wondering,' whispers the old biker, 'are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?' 'Yes,' she purrs, 'I am.' The old biker replies, 'Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger. | ||||||
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| Sunday, March 17, 2013, 5:19:14 PM- ever wonder | ||||||
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why doctors call what they do "practice"? Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor? Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? | ||||||
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| Wednesday, March 13, 2013, 7:18:43 PM- just a thought | ||||||
Duct tape cant fix stupid But it can muffle it | ||||||
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| Tuesday, March 12, 2013, 2:31:14 AM- | ||||||
if stupidity were a drug i know some people who would have already overdosed | ||||||
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| Monday, March 11, 2013, 6:25:50 AM- | ||||||
You know you are drunk if you swerve to miss a tree than realize it is the air freshener hanging from your mirror | ||||||
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| Wednesday, March 6, 2013, 4:08:56 AM- | ||||||
A dog will love you more then your wife... Don't believe me? Lock both in the trunk of your car for an hour then see which one will be happy to see you. | ||||||
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